START Library talk transcript
Suzanne
Well, hello there. How are you? You're very welcome to Tallaght library. You're very welcome online as well. Thank you so much to everybody for joining us. I know it's that time of the evening, it's seven o'clock and if you've smaller children at home, we're trying to get everybody organised for baths and beds upstairs, downstairs, the older ones are maybe doing homework. So I really appreciate you taking the time to join us online. And thank you so much to everybody who's joined us at Tallaght Library, with safefood. My name is Suzanne Kane, I'm your host for this evening. I'm merely here to moderate and to maybe give some of my questions that I have. I've been an ambassador for the Make a START campaign. I have a two year old at home, I have a six year old and an eight year old. So for us, it's bang on where we are. It's trying to wrestle those healthy eating habits, keeping them going and persevering when things kind of feel like you know what, what's easiest here for me is maybe just to give them a chocolate bar and we can all move on. But it's trying to persevere with that. Navigating being a parent because it's never easy. No day is easy. I work full time. My husband works full time. I'm here this evening with you, which comes with childcare which you all understand and navigating all those things. So I think sometimes, as parents we forget maybe to talk to each other or to even just give each other that look and go "I have got you". You're very visible to me. And then sometimes reaching out and asking the experts those questions. Which leads me nicely into our experts for this evening, Dr. Aileen McGloin who is the head of nutrition with safefood. You're very welcome. Thank you so much for joining us. And Dr. Colman Noctor who's a child psychotherapist, is that correct?
Colman
Correct. Yes.
Suzanne
Can I call you Colman? Or do I call you Dr. Colman?
Colman
Colman.
Suzanne
Aileen, tell us a little bit about the campaign and about this evening for safefood.
Aileen
Yes, I just want to add to your welcome. So welcome here to Tallaght Library. It's a privilege to be here. I want to welcome you on behalf of safefood and Libraries Ireland. We're going to talk about how we start making healthy changes. A little bit about the challenges that people face. And I'm sure you're all familiar with those. And then how you stick with that. We very much want this to be parent led this evening. So to everybody in the room, please ask your questions. To everybody who's joining us online, you can put your questions up online as well and Suzanne can receive them here at the table. So, it's all about answering the questions this evening.
Suzanne
Yes, it's just a great thing saying that out loud. Like I know, sometimes when you're sitting in a room, as we go along, you'll feel a little bit more comfortable and have those questions. And obviously, we are online, there's lots of people joining us online. You don't need to go into the finer details. But if there's a broader question, that's what we'd love to hear, rather than drilling down into [more specific topics]. So are we happy enough to dive right in? But at any point pop up your hands, one of the guys from safefood will come and answer a question. Or if you're online, please feel free to jump on and enjoy the conversation because that's what it is. It's not us talking at you guys. It is very much all of us having a lovely conversation together and supporting each other as parents and carers and guardians. So I think probably getting started Aileen and Colman, one of the first things, and I spoke about the Make a START campaign, everything is online at makeastart.ie , they can jump on there. But I think making healthy lifestyle changes as a parent, sometimes you'll say, alright, I need to get stuck into this and come Monday morning, we're gonna start doing that. The very start of the easy steps of getting going is making the decision to do it. As I said, you can jump on to makeastart.ie. We're then getting into the day to day living, of managing that in your life. What advice would you have for parents this evening with that?
Aileen
Yes, so you've hit the nail on the head there. The START campaign is all about these small, manageable changes. So when we're talking about making changes, I think sometimes when we speak to parents, it's incredibly daunting, like, how would I do that. But if you make a decision around this, choose the one thing that affects your family. So it could be that you want to switch out the sugary breakfast cereals, for something healthier, that you want to take the sugary drinks off the dinner table and switch to water, that you want to just start working on the treats, but even just start with one treat free day if you're having treats every day. So it's really about breaking those changes down and deciding what you are going to do as a family. Then just keeping it small and manageable. There are other things you'll need to do, then there's a bit of planning. So if you're not having treats every day, you need something else. So you have to plan that into your shopping. You might need to get help from the other important adults in your child's life to bring them along to make sure everybody's on the same page.
Suzanne
Yeah, the Nana call, as I call it! The 'Hi. How's it going? I really appreciate it but if you don't mind can we not have a lot from Nana's press today?'
Aileen
I think sometimes if you frame that as asking for help. Saying we've decided to do this as a family. We don't want to have treats on Monday or whatever it is. Can you help me with that. As opposed to 'Don't'. Sometimes it's about the language and the framing.
Suzanne
Yes, that's right. Colman, in terms of like starting that and getting the kids ready for that, I call it a marathon but in the best possible way, because exactly as you said, it's like you're looking for the support around you. But also you can't turn around to the kids and go jigs up this morning, we're not having that. So how would you frame that for kids? Or do you just say nothing? Like as a parent do we say nothing and just make the swap? Or do you pre dispose them with that information and go, hey guys, as a family, we're gonna make these changes.
Colman
It's probably somewhere in the middle. I mean, I don't think you overhype it. Sometimes, the biggest problem we make in changes is overcorrection. So we go from sure feck it, it's Christmas - we'll have everything, to New Year's Eve - I'm going to be totally new. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat nothing and I'm going to drink water and everything else. So the so the idea is that when you make these extreme leaps into change, they get really, really hard really quickly, and you fail. And so you go back. So it's not about kind of just becoming Ireland's fittest family and never having a treat again. It's about trying to figure out how do we improve from where we are now. So it's not about being the best, it's just being better than we are now. So these small incremental changes, and that means it doesn't have to be a big announcement or a big plan. The other thing we do is we make changes on a whim. So when we're really frustrated, we say that's it! No treats ever again! Where you're grounding a child for a year and a half or something. In other words, you kind of follow through. The idea is that you don't make those changes when you're upset, or frustrated or emotional. You make them when you're thinking it through. The other thing is, what we know and what we do are very different things. We all know the stuff that we should and shouldn't be eating and doing. But knowledge is only a start or something, you have to actually make those changes. And people will always say, when I feel better, I'll do something different. Unfortunately, when you do something different, you feel better. And so the action has to lead the way in terms of how it is we feel about it. And so the only way of making something that's unfamiliar familiar, is by repeating it.
Suzanne
And in that space of making changes, and they're happening maybe as the week has gone along, and obviously, whether you're the parent or the carer or the Guardian in that circumstance, you're saying, right, we're going to be the people, if it's two people, co parents are or your parenting together, that you go, we're making this decision, and that you stay and stand firm within the house. But, again, as you say, like New Year's resolutions at the very start, we all come with great intention. But as the marathon continues, and you start to wane, how do you stick at it? I think in the in the early part, when you're starting to make changes, or changing foods or taking foods out it's kind of okay, but when they realise, that this is part and parcel and this is the way our household runs, there comes a bit of resistance to that change, like how do you not falter in that?
Aileen
There's a few aspects to that, I suppose one is the circumstances that you create around that. So we talked about the planning, so when you shop, the house is not full of treats, if that's your particular goal. Or the treats are not accessible to the child ie in a high press that they can't reach if they're there. Or you only buy them on Friday or Saturday, whenever you've decided that that's what you're doing. So you kind of create an environment that supports the decision that you've made. You make it easier for yourself, in effect. The motivation is probably the more difficult part of the thing. Everybody starts gung-ho as well, as Colman was saying, but then you have to kind of relax into that. So you just have to stick with it at that point. Get all the adults around your child in support and everybody moving in the same direction. I suppose the other thing to remember is you're not aiming for perfection, you probably will fall off the wagon somewhere. And a little bit of self acceptance is also part of it. So, if you do have the treats on the day you said you wouldn't or bow to the child's requests, it doesn't matter. The next day, you just start again. So it is a little bit about trying, failing, trying again, but really sticking to that goal in your mind and say this is what we want to happen so we're just going to keep working on this. Remember, it's not gonna happen overnight. It'll take at least six weeks to change a habit. So, it is about making things familiar, as Colman said earlier on, trying it again and again and again.
Suzanne
I know that's something very interesting you said there Aileen about parents, and I don't know about you guys, but it's that kind of moment where if something goes wrong, but you've said this is what we're going to do and you're the grown up and then you falter. There's the guilt that comes with that. Like you said, it takes six weeks but then allowing yourself as a parent, to have that moment saying to yourself I'm not going to hit everything all the time but the intention is there.
Aileen
I think a really nice thing to do for yourself is to just be a bit gentle with yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. These things are not going to happen overnight. So, ease yourself into it. You're trying, you're doing your best, you're aiming for something, and you will get there.
Suzanne
Yes. And you will get there. There's so many questions that have come in. One of the questions that links in with this, is when you're talking about changes and changing habits, one of the big ones that came in is about trying new foods. These are just two general questions that we had. An eight year old, who is very set in their ways won't try new foods, will only eat things that he's familiar with. Again, another one, I struggle with dinnertime, my two year old, won't eat vegetables or won't eat any meat, what can I do? So kind of the same scenario of one is very change resistant, and the other is change resistant in the sense of they will only eat what they eat. Should we go with the psychological first or the nutritional standpoint?
Aileen
I suppose, again, this is part of the be gentle with yourself message. Neophobia, which means the fear of new things is an absolutely normal part of a child's development. It will start at about one and a half and kind of peak between one and a half and about five. But it won't finish really until close to 12 and even 18. I mean, this is an 18 year project. So I think parents have a great tendency to kind of beat themselves up if they're not getting a full portion of peas into the child or whatever it is. But this is a very slow process and it's a very normal part of the human condition to be afraid of what you don't know, that's part of how we survive. That's why the child is acting like this. So I mean, for some children, it will be smelling, licking, biting, and spitting out or taking one bite. What I'm talking about is a year or even many years process for some kids, and then you get your bite and you might get your two bites and three bites. Eventually, by the age of 12, most children will be somewhere around accepting lots and lots of foods, which is great. So it's that kind of acceptance of the processes as a very long one and trying not to create a stressful situation out of a dinner. Your job is to expose the child to the food, make them more familiar and encourage them to try. But your job is not to get them to eat a full portion. That is something you can consider as a very long term goal. So I think when you push it in those kinds of terms, it becomes a little bit more manageable for a parent because they're not failing every dinner time, they're just trying every dinner time. That is a little bit easier to manage.
Suzanne
I think as a parent we probably face that a lot. I know in our house we have a very small food group for one of our children. I think as a parent, when you see one of your other children who is very accepting of food and the other whos isnt. Number one, you just want the enjoyment and having that that moment of sitting of enjoying food and it not being a challenge, but it can quickly fall into one or you could as a parent fall into a trap of it becoming almost tense, even in the run up to dinnertime, or in the run up to even suggesting new foods. So is there a way to, as a parent, to reassure your child so that it doesn't become an us versus them kind of situation.
Colman
I think the first thing to do is not see your child's diet as a reflection or extension of you because then you get personalized into it. The fear of the unknown is what anxiety is. So if you don't know what something tastes like, the younger child will feel I don't want to try that. And they'll have heard all this, they'll have associations with broccoli, or whatever it is, that it's dreadful and all that sort stuff. And so it's always about rewarding the effort, not the outcome. So you award a child for trying not for completion. Once you get into that, it is tiny in terms of moving, but as as a child matures, and many will, they'll find out how restrictive their diet is and they'll want to be included in things at secondary school and someone's going down to the to get a roll at lunchtime or whatever, they will start to broaden their palate around that time naturally. There is a bit of patience required. However, what I would say is to avoid battles. The battle of the dinner table is as much about reinforcing that it's important to you as it is about getting the food into your child and if it becomes a battle of wills, then foods will become the source of that argument or that control.
Suzanne
Is it an age old thing that we're predisposed to sit down and eat dinner and that it's kind of almost like a parenting win? Or is there something that has evolved from maybe our parents, that we carry with us that it's a very focal thing having our children sit down and have dinner in their bellies. Or that the reward comes after the dinner. For example, saying that if you get through that, I'll give you a bar chocolate.
Colman
Yes. Our relationship with food is an emotional one from very early on. So, the child who falls, you give them a treat. The child who is tired, you give them a treat. The child who's good gets a dessert the child who is not, doesn't. So all these associations with food are being hardwired right from the get go. Even things like my parents would have said to me, "there are starving children in Ethiopia, and you're not finishing your dinners" or whatever. That would create guilt about leaving food or not completing food and all that sort of stuff. We don't want to further enhance the emotional connection with performing at the real time versus that. That's where we start all the process of comfort eating and feeling like we don't deserve to eat and all those sorts of things. So the less emotional you can make the mealtime in terms of intensity, the better the outcome. Now, obviously, we want our children to have enough food, and we can be worried about them not eating enough, and everything else. Aileen might be able to speak more to that. But if it becomes an absolute intense investment on behalf of the parent, that can sometimes hijack the nutritional piece, and it becomes an emotional battle. Very small infants, the way they exert control is by not listening and not eating and so those two communications are, I'm putting my foot down here. The first words, an infant will utter and overuse is no or never. So it is it is about control and don't make food a source or a battle of control.
Suzanne
Which leads us to a question from a nutritional standpoint. So two of the questions here, they are probably standard for so many people here or watching, is that my son is 12 and he wont eat anything other than bread. And the other one is wondering how do I get my my children to eat more vegetables, so they're very polarized in terms of one will only eat bread, and the other one is trying to get the nutritional value in? So from a twelve year old's perspective, obviously, he's growing. If he's only eating bread, I know there's always kind of this thing of like, sure they won't starve, but also from a nutritional standpoint, I think that's always a parent's real concern.
Aileen
Yes, and I would say the person who submitted that question is worried so that child, particularly a boy is going into a very large growth spurt at that particular time. Eating only bread is very restrictive. I think we need to just acknowledge that there is a condition called ARFID. That's avoidant and restrictive food intake disorder that was covered in the media this week. I don't know if people would have heard about that. It's quite an extreme disorder of eating because the food is so limited. So we're not talking about the child that you can gradually introduced the foods. It's a real physiological and sensory issue, sometimes associated with the neuro diversity spectrum, like autism but not always. The parents who are experiencing this will know this very well. But it's just to acknowledge for everybody hear that there is a condition that would need, specialized care with a dietetic or psychologist to help that child to maybe move forward. And they may not, so they may need medical intervention, as well. So just to acknowledge that that is a condition.
Suzanne
It's quite unusual that people just eat bread, what are the factors that are around?
Aileen
I could say to their parent, try some of the things that I talked about: all the senses, the licking the smelling, but it sounds like if that has lasted until the child is 12, she may need to consult your GP and maybe look for extra care.
Suzanne
The other side of that spectrum is, again, the teenager and how to encourage them to have more vegetables. I think from parental side, from a nutrition standpoint, it's always that thing. I have a mad thing about looking at my kids nails, like they're going to get scurvy! But I'm just like, oh, is it or isn't it? We're just constantly going, are they getting enough nutrition? And you go into the pharmacy, and wonder should I buy the jelly vitamins because that will give them sugar and some type of salt, you know? But in terms of trying to manage their actual intake as they grow are you looking at the five a day?
Aileen
That's what you're aiming for. But, one of the points that Colman said earlier was that you're starting from where you are, so if that child is only eating a limited range of vegetables, you start there. One technique that might be useful is called Food chaining. If a child likes mashed potato, they might have some mashed carrot, you follow the texture. Or if they like peas, they might like sweet corn, because it's kind of similar small round, vegetables. So it's about how we build on what we already have and what's already acceptable to the child. And if they have the mashed carrot, you might be looking at a couple of whole carrot pieces in eventually. So follow the textures, follow the shapes, follow what they'll already take and go with that.
Suzanne
Super helpful. There's loads of questions coming in. One eats too much, the other eats too little. Is one having too many snacks? The word snack in the pandemic,it's a trigger word, it really is. People looking at you going can I have a snack all the time. And then again, because they were at home when you're worried about them, so it's in terms of an eating too much for dinner, and the old ones not taking in enough.
Aileen
So children are very capable of following their own appetites. As you said earlier, a parent is always kind of on tenterhooks wondering will they eat the dinner, because that's a natural instinct. And of course, you and every parent knows, that's really what we want. We all want to ensure that our children are nourished, that's kind of the base job. That's always going to be something that parents consider very important. They'll know exactly what they should be doing and then it's not happening in front of them is the reality which can be a moment of tension. But I think that idea of being gentle with yourself is also really important to hear.
Suzanne
This one stands out for probably a lot of people, and I don't know if this happens in anybody else's house? When they send the food into school for a trip, and it just comes home in the evening, you're like, Oh, it's lovely to see you! I'm so glad that you've had a lovely day, and nothing has been eaten! No lunches being eaten. Should I just get rid of the lunch altogether and just let him eat when he comes home? Or should we just keep going with the lunchbox?
Aileen
I think keep going with the lunchbox. It is about that exposure. I think bringing the child into the conversation, and bringing the child in to the choosing of the lunch helps. that does depend on the age and making of the lunch. So sometimes that involvement can be really important in terms of, they might eat some bit of it because they've chosen it for themselves. That might not be exactly what you would want them to have but it is a start in terms of having something in the middle of the day, which is really important as well.
Suzanne
Should I make him eat it when he comes home?
Aileen
If they haven't had anything since breakfast? Then yes?
Colman
Yes, there's a social component to school lunches, there's a status element, in terms of comparing lunches. Status in terms of the social status. It's kind of like following a very tricky formula, trying to not have any allergies in the lunchbox, not having this or not having that. It's the idea of getting it right.You can be a little bit restricted in terms of what they will eat. For young people, there's a lot of schools that will say eat and then you can go outside. And young people have been sitting for hours, they just want to get outside, the eating is kind of superfluous at this stage. So they'll pretend to eat and as soon as the first person is gone out, theyre gone too. But in actual fact, I encourage in schools that there's a set eating time and then the Playtime is after. In my house when someone finishes a meal first and heads off, the rest of them now all of a sudden need to leave the table too and so the idea of within a group in school sometimes there's a social pressure, so they may not be not eating for any nutritional or hunger value, but merely to get to play. So from that point of view, you may ask a few questions around why they're leaving it. Is it about taste? Is it about preference? Is it about pressure, and many will say I didn't have time. So it is important to consider that.
Suzanne
This is a great question as well. I think maybe a lot of parents will feel this. Any tips, getting other caregivers on board?I've tried to talk to them before just in terms of the eating but I was told I was very OTT.
Colman
I think Aileen's point about asking for a buy in rather than a wagging finger. You'll get a better response. If you say Nana, you're not allowed to give him anymore, you'll just have jaffa cakes being smuggled in pockets and things snuck back from Nanas. You just drive it under ground from there. But I think from the point of view of saying to whoever it is, look, we are really trying to do something here as a family, and we're trying to get a bit healthier, and we're trying to do a bit of walking and that sort of stuff. One treat is fine, but giving him the whole box of biscuits is probably not what we would like. The idea is that nobody wants to be an unpopular grandparent who says no and the great thing about having grandchildren is you can spoil them. I suppose it's asking and requesting that somebody kind of just rolls in with you a little bit if you're trying something. Because I think if you get into saying don't, and you're giving out to people, nagging doesn't work as a strategy. From the point of view of getting people on board is far greater, and again, these are habits that you form over time. As Aileen said it takes six weeks to form a habit. The first three or four visits, they're surprised they're not getting as many treats from Nana, but after four and five, that's the treat that they get.
Suzanne
Aileen, an interesting question that came in there is about portion sizes. On the safefood website is there somewhere where you can go and visually see what portion sizes for what age child?
Aileen
Yes, there is. So if you go to safefood.net you will find them. I think that we're going to put together some links related to the conversation tonight, you'll get them afterwards as well. But the visual part is the essential thing. So I can tell you here in words, but actually online, we have videos, here's the very small child portion, here's the primary school child's portion and here's the adult portion. I think that's really useful to have a look at. A really good rule of thumb is, for a five year old, they need half the size that an adult needs and you can work up from that if they're older, you work down from that if they're younger. And for smaller kids, obviously, the small plates, the small bowls, small everything will help guide you in getting the portions right. Sometimes parents think maybe the child is not eating enough, actually, the child may well be eating enough for their size. So just to remember that it's much smaller. The tendency for the big plate. You know when you go to a restaurant and they put it in front of you and you're like, I can climb this! But a serving of pasta for a very small child, say two to three is a half a cup of cooked pasta. So I think when we start to remember that, I think it is really helpful.
Suzanne
Yes, that visual guidance. And we'll put up all the links, but you'll find it over on the safefood website. Does anybody have any questions they'd like to ask at this point? Feel free to jump in.
Member of audience
What about a child who is grazing all day?
Colman
Structure is hugely important. I suppose all you can do in that situation is have those three meals set out. And then see if the grazing happens after the meal, not before. Because if you can graze all day, and you're getting a lunch at one o'clock, and you've just grazed from 11 till 12, you're not going to have the hunger to have the lunch.
Member of audience
She's in the fridge every half hour.
Colman
I suppose leave a little space of time, maybe after the lunch or after the tea before the the grazing is allowed. From that point of view, what you're trying to do is regulate her appetite so that she gets hungry at the right time. When we're trying to regulate children, children's appetites, there's a bit of work in that. In terms of having the right amounts of food so that you're not over feeding them so that they're not hungry for the next meal and trying to get that right. I think maybe if you didn't have breakfast, then you might be really hungry for lunch, and then take a break between lunch and the next one. And then you can graze once your meals are finished, but permissible grazing doesn't help you to kind of get those meals in place because they're already full from that point of view. Does that make sense?
Aileen
I might just add to that, I think sometimes there's a big tendency to talk about the three meals. As adults, we have our three meals. But for children, particularly young children, your daughter is only six. Actually, it's three meals and three snacks. So these are small meals regularly for small stomachs that can't take a big volume of food. Obviously, you don't want her to be eating every half hour. But I think what's more important is the quality of the food. Is she eating snacks that are important for her nutritional benefit? For example, is it yogurt? Is it a cracker with a little bit of cheese or peanut butter? Is it some pieces of fruit? For a small child like that the quality of the snacks matter. Very small children can't afford to have lots of treats because it does nothing for them from a nutritional perspective, and it displaces those healthier snacks, which are really important for the child. So I think that's a maybe even a more important question for you. What's the quality of the type of snacks that she's having? And, again, to see if you can space it out a little bit. For a small child, it's nearly every three hours would be normal to be eating.
Suzanne
When I started to work with safefood, I went on to the Make a Start webpage, I looked at what the snacks were. I thought I was doing wonders but when I looked at the snacks I went "that has to go" and "they can't have that"! In terms of screen time and managing that. I know, obviously things have been very different with children learning from home. Trying to figure that out as a parent is there any do's and don'ts for navigating that?
Aileen
From a health perspective, the screen time can often displace their physical activity time. So it's all about making sure that they have an opportunity to be active, and the screentime takes away from that. So that would be the perspective that we would always look at it from. But now, because of COVID all these lines have blurred. So children do quite a lot of their, let's call it useful work or schoolwork online now. So where's the line between the screen time that is school related and the leisure time? So, that's a little bit more difficult to navigate? Because we used to say no more than two hours for primary school aged child. But what does that mean now? So I think the main thing is that it's on a weekday they probably don't have more than an hour a day. You can give them a little bit more at the weekend, maybe the two hours, but just to make sure that it's not displacing their opportunity to be active. That's what we're talking about.
Colman
You don't want to come in with that heavy hand either saying I'm switching off the technology, changing the Wi Fi code because their lives are revolving around being online and being on tablets. And when they go to secondary school it is part of their schoolwork and you want to encourage that as well. Can you give a young child ownership? Perhaps saying I'm going to give you the next 15 minutes. Or do you have to be the person that has to lay down the hard line? There's two sides to this. One side is about activity and movement. And I'd like to share Aileen's concerns there. We're seeing a lot more children with injuries. I'd never went to a physio when I was a child in my life, but there's physio friends of mine who are seeing far more children. And that's because they're sitting and then they're going to training on a Tuesday night intense exercise and then stopping again. There's no natural movement. So we need to really encourage active movement into children's lives. It's not all structured, sheduled adult led movement, but that they have movement within their day. The second side of it is that your technological diet is no different to your food diet in many respects. There are good technology uses and poor ones. So you have the meat and two vegetables or and then you have treats afterwards. But you know, nobody wants anyone to live a donut-less life, but you don't have a donut before your breakfast. So the idea is, when we're on technology some of the stuff is useful. If I'm watching a YouTube tutorial, learning how to play a song on a guitar, that's a useful use of my time, and that's not bad. Whereas, if I spent an hour and a half playing Candy Crush, or watching cats on skateboards, that is maybe not the best use of my time. We don't measure a child's diet by how long they sit at the table, you measure it by what they eat, and your technological diet is the same. Move away from time spent, and move to time well spent. So if children are using technology productively, it's far better than somebody who's using less time but using it less productively. So it's more about understanding what children are doing with technology, as opposed to just a dashboard of time spent on it.
Suzanne
Absolutely, that totally makes sense. Last question, I know exercise was mentioned. How do you know if they are getting enough? Are they well grounded? Kids have more support than we ever did growing up. But you do you want them to have exercise? And you do want them to have that social outlet away from their schooling and away from anything online? Is there a happy medium? Or is there a guideline that you can go by with children in terms of their ages that they're getting their exercise needs, but that we're not as parents maybe pushing them. I think sometimes you get to Friday, and you go, they're exhausted, and we still have to be up at half past eight to be at the pitch for nine o'clock, then to go to dance at one. We're trying to keep them as well rounded as we can, is there a guideline Aileen in terms of that?
Aileen
So children need about an hour of physical activity every day. But that doesn't mean an hour down at the GAA pitch. That means everything counts. So every bit of movement counts. If they come home from school and go out into the garden for 10 minutes for a run around kickball that counts towards it. So it is the point that Colman, this natural movement within the course of the day is really important. They get some of that in the yard in school, they get some of that in their PE class in school, but they do need a bit more, whether that's going for a walk with you down to the park, or whether it's an organised physical activity. So it'll be different for every child, depending on what access they have to being outdoors. I think if there's one change, you want to make it to be active as a family. So we talked about food treats, but maybe a treat is that you all go together to whatever you have access to whether that's the beach, or the park or the mountains or the swimming pool, but something that you enjoy as a family together. That's really important.
Suzanne
As a wise child psychotherapist once told me about being present in those moments. The treats become we will go to x, y and z and that instead saying you can have a premiership set of stickers on Friday, or that they build to that, and incorporating that exercise in that activity but make it that the norm rather than it being this big ordeal such as we're going to Centreparks for four days!
Aileen
And remember, what you do is really important as well. So if you are being active, they see you being active. If you're having your glass of water with dinner. All of this matters. If you can see it, you can be at it. There's a lot of truth to that. So what the parents does, and what the parent does with the children is is equally important.
Colman
I remember asking a teenager for older children, you know, what is the difference between nagging and encouraging, and they gave me this great explanation. Nagging is you never go outside and you never walk? Encouraging is saying come on we'll go down to the shop, I'll go with you. And there is a vast difference in being told to do something and being asked to do something. And the idea of saying phrases like you never you or shouldn't or you've been sitting there too long, that's not going to encourage any young person to get up. Whereas if you say, Can you finish that in 15 minutes, and yourself and myself we will go down, and we'll get this and do that. You start the process by going with them. That's how you start the habit. Rather than saying you never, you don't, you should, which was only going to make that child or teenager sit for longer.
Suzanne
I don't know, if you guys agree that we're becoming newer products of what our parents perhaps were. That we're living our lifestyle.I've learned a lot from you just in terms of language that we use, and Make a Start very much comes into that in the campaign. It's about making those really small changes, that we're not jumping into the unknown, we're realising that it's this marathon, but the ultimate goal is going to be very good. It is ultimately all about the well being and your happiness and the healthiness of your kids. If you can get through all those little bits, there's a moment somewhere in it where you're in a park for four minutes, everybody's happy! It's not going to be like that all of the time. There will always be the challenges that come with it but it is about learning a little bit more. As you were saying about the language, and facing a bit of adversity and then to try to navigate that. But there is definitely a point as a parent when you hit that sweet spot and it is definitely all worth it. Guys, thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much to everybody for joining us and for joining us online. If you registered online, you can watch everything back. We really appreciate your time this evening, guys. Thank you very much.
Aileen
Thank you.
Colman
Thank you
